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Bullcrap!

I don't wanna keep things complicated;
There's nothing wrong with me as you think,
Its just that I've changed my behavior to the seamless brink.

Earlier I adored you and cared, for you I waited;
but not any more,
You aren't special,You make my eyes sore.

You often lose your temper,at the drop of a hat;
And seldom think before you talk obscene,
To me u said "u called me,wasted my time n now your using me to drop u off, HOW MEAN!"

You always speak to me as your doing a favor, more of a chitchat;
To me you treat as the dust of your feet,
You ask me to be polite but do not follow what you preach, you devour your promises like a mincemeat.

If you thought I was rude to you these days, and impolite;
I was impolite and ignorant, and faking it was tough,
I wanted you realize, it hurts me when you talk rough.

I don't not know if I was wrong or right,
But you left me with little choice,
with each passing days, in my head fades your voice.

I know not what you think of me, an enemy?
but now its your choice,
If you wish to end this, I may not bother you with my voice.

But ill always miss my true friend,and be gloomy;
Who gave a new dimension to my life,
In my heart she shall reside, always by my side, beyond the strife.

But do not take the honor and consider yourself her.
She disappeared a while ago, your lookalike more or less,
All the best for a great future, May GOD BLESS.




Whatever you may think, I don't mind,
and for my rudeness I apologize.
The one coming to my life, though undefined,
can never change me, coz its not wise.

I thot we were frnz and u'd less formal
my simple words would hurt u et all
I dont wanna speak to you anymore,
and all my deeds I deplore.




Sorry,my regardless words hurt more than they claimed,
I was frustrated, barely kept my head on shoulder,
I never thought you'd let our friendship smoulder.

Its not you, but I'm to be blamed,
You broke it, coz I asked you to,
All I ask is an opportunity to explain, before I bid adieu.

Raising the Bar !

 

"No! I'm taking any random job in the IT-sector,Il only work if I get into something like R & D in a reputed firm,or else I'm off pursuing M.tech."
"But,aren't you interested in MBA,like most of the crowd ?"
"Not really,Il attempt CAT,but not as seriously as GATE and the like ones."
"But having an MBA after B.tech is the ongoing trend,it simply adds a couple of zeroes in your pay package,quite unlike the M.tech degree ! "
"Call me 'Adamant',if you like,but my ambition lies in core fields and not the one MBA usually offers,the zeroes in my salary wont bother me much if I'm happy with my Career"
"Well,good luck then !" he said.
"Thanx" i replied.

    After a while,I was back in my room,it was approaching mid-night,silence was creeping in (not that my roomies, or rather people in the hostel had ceased making noises,by silence i meant,there was peace in my mind,setting the stage for better thoughts like how I'd like shape my career).Donning my (hypothetical) thinking topi , plethora of thoughts raced at the back of my brain.The mammoth war of conflicting ideas commenced,it was BRAIN Vs. MIND (read 'heart' ,but I always prefer 'mind' because I find it stupid thinking with my heart, it has always landed me in trouble). To conciliate both, I slid into flashback.....

Total mind-freaking confusion !

Back to teens (no more that innocent guiltless kid),I realised it was time for me to live my dream.Though I had the goal in my mind,the question was HOW  ??? After taking opinion from a couple of people who had just completed their BE(engineering), I decided to follow their footsteps,i.e. appear for state entrance test for engineering(CET),enroll myself in a good reputed engineering institute and pursue BE in computer science,relying upon campus placements I'd elude with a fair paying job and that was my destination "LIFE TOH SET HAI BOSS..!" I thought to myself.

With this notion in mind,I accomplished my 10th grade exams and it was time to step in bigger shoes,12th grade and simultaneous preparations for CET. In vacations I made it a point a few career guidance seminars and discovered the hierarchy of entrance tests,it gave a complex, CET was given least importance,with IIT-JEE and AIEEE at the peak.After few discussions with parents I decided to prepare for IIT-JEE and rest exams(notice how CET merged into rest exams).Was time for a gigantic plunge.

As for my modified approach to my old goal,I set forth on the journey,but I was not alone in this.I met enormously new people with fresh and dissimilar outlooks,I interpreted that just acquiring a job was not the end of the world,the pay package mattered big time !!! So now my aim wasn't just pulling off a job,I wanted a high paying job with good perks and vacations in exotic locations(of course the last one was like cherry on the cake and only one person gets the cherry).The tested formula for this was pursuing MBA from high profile management institutes like IIM,and hence my goal was engineering followed by MBA,acquiring the super-dream job and my life is SET...!

Two years passed,I attempted IIT-JEE,AIEEE and BIT-SAT.......ahem ahem....that's it....! If u still dint notice,I did not attempt CET,something that was foundation of my goal had become so insignificant that it got neglected for the biggies. In a couple of months results were out,I successfully pulled off IIT-JEE on the edge(with a worse rank)and AIEEE wasn't good enough either and BIT-SAT had limited number of seats. Now came the life-changing-decision, 'what would I compromise; my passion in computer science or the big tag offered by premier institutes(IITs) ' .With bit of guidance from experienced teachers I decided to compromise CS only if I get into to IIT,but not for NITs(the institutes under AIEEE).Counseling commenced and continued for more than a month and almost everyone were done with their admissions , I was allotted NIT-Rourkela for Computer Science.I had mixed emotions,I was happy to get computer science,but sad had to be so far from home.

A week had passed and I was adapting to the new environment of the institute,gradually I realised few bitter truths.Our institute wasn't a good choice for someone like me who had hardcore passion in CS.Our institute was more keen on teaching us computer hardware rather than software(which was my keen interest) and the placements too were quite disappointing,compared to other NITs.After being to exposed to harsh realities of fate of computer science students, i realised it was meaningless just completing B.tech and taking up a job(for MBA,CAT isn't everyone's cuppa tea).Very gradually my priorities migrated from getting a job to pursuing M.tech,which was the only possible way i could fulfill my passion and have a successful career in the same.

Have you raised the bar ?

As of this day, after having modified my goal a zillion times,I decided to raise the bar and not to worry about the goal....to me what matters is my will and passion which I should never compromise.....rather none of you should ever compromise.....!!!

DECISIONS ???

This red shirt or that dark black one? Should I call him/her or not? Should I go to the party? Which movie do we watch? and more plethora of questions....popping every one's mind,everyday,every other moment. Some silly,some hectic and tense ! Its about taking the right decision at the right time (supposed to be a key to success) !

But I am quite skeptical,to what "THE RIGHT DECISION" is? I wear a red tie,because my Girlfriend likes it or I wear a grey tie as it looks classy and I love it,who decides which of these decisions is more correct than the other? Well,that is a stupid question to ask,but good decisions come from bad experience and bad experience comes from wrong conclusions ! Voila,So what do You do? Take a wrong decision to get bad experience and right decision making skill,or simply choose what seems right ?

Some decisions are tough to make, like which institution should you join for higher education and what stream would be a perfect choice(in case you don't know where your interest lies) ?
some are really tougher;
like, MARRIAGE:
a)Should you marry or not ?(If your pretty confidently affirmative,ask a few elders and they'll share their bitter-sweet experience !)
b)Go for arranged marriage or love marriage ?(Have heard that love marriages are more prone break,statistics speaks volumes !)
c)If arranged then, let parents decide your spouse or you do it yourself (matrimony sites) ?
d)If love marriage, (in case of love triangle) whom to choose the one I love or the one who loves me ?
(competitive exam with options a,b,c,d are so much easier :) )

But let me tell you some thing interesting, many times abiding by the decision is lot more tougher than actually taking decisions! How many times have you decided to study seriously?
Or how many times you unsuccessfully tried going on a diet?
I have another million ways to prove my point , so dare to disagree on this! And speaking by my experience,the interesting thing is,how happy and satisfied you are after taking that decision,decides if your decision was right.Thats what I believe is the secret to right decisions !

Another important thing is,taking self-made decisions .One must lend his ear to all,but mind to none.There are people who respect every decision by their parents,it's good getting parents involved because they have more experience making mistakes,but you should not be dependent or puppet to them.Make your opinion count !

Its even more tough to deny our friends influencing our decision,thats right PEER PRESSURE,(I myself face it,living in a hostel !)
Its okay to give-in at times,like going for outing or playing  a sport or maybe Bunking lectures.But when it comes to notorious habits(smoking,drinking,drugs or even porn) never be afraid to SAY NO !
You may regret initially or be left-out in a crowd, but its you who will have the last laugh.

Keep taking decision,its you who decides if its right or wrong !

An Egghead or a freewheel...?

Getting into NIT-Rourkela(oh yes,B.Tech CS) one of the premier engineering institutes for getting a Bachelors Degree in respective fields.

The Question that keeps daunting me since I have been here,is whether to slog for the next four years to get a high paying job in a reputed firm OR enjoy the wonderful days of hostel life for the next four years,ignoring that it could jeopardize my career ?

Many may disagree on this saying that getting CGPA of 9+ points is meant only for elite students(the GMATs) who study while eating,sleeping,walking,talking don't even waste time in the loo....... but,to be a 6 pointer APPEARS rather easier,just stay away from books,relish life,have fun to the fullest !!!!

My experience in the past few days over here brings out a rather new theory 
”You Become What You Really Wanna Be”,implies its completely in my hands where I want my future to be, in Elite group or the Funk group.....:P

I have alwayz been somewhere in between the two…having freedom with restrictions…many of you may have been in between the two situations....or some may have been on extremities of either too..anyway…\m/

To decide on which side i ought to be i tried improvising both..here’s how it goes :

SCENE 1: A budding '9+' pointer(it always sounds more lucrative):

Life is bound to be monotonous, it's some what like waking up at 5 am,pray for being a 10-pointer,studying for a couple of hours,swallow breakfast and reach classroom 15 minutes before lecturer enters.Sit attentively in lectures(ignoring the LLBs-"Lords of the Last Bench"),take rigorous notes,answer every question sincerely(valid or invalid with respect to the ongoing topic).This seems to continue till end of lectures and practicals,coming back to hostel(or any place suitable for studying) at evening to complete all their assignments plus revise everything written on board and recollect every word emitted by the profs and if that wasn't enough,even browse topics to be taught future.Then consume dinner and call it a day (may be listen a couple of regional songs laying on bed).
Then comes the weekend holidays,they wake up,wrap up silly chores that can be done inefficiently on weekdays and study afresh for 3-4 hours.Then lunch followed by a short POWER nap.Again wake up and study till dinner.Chat for a while with roomies and zzzzzzz..........On Sunday special prayers for being a 10 pointer(may be accompanied by disguised bribes to god almighty) , study till lunch time and watch a movie or a bit of time pass on insistence by room-mates followed by preparing for coming week.Eventually take dinner and become dead-to-world till next morning.
And yes,getting self-ragged by seniors,assuming them to be gods and obeying every word said by them; be it singing,dancing,cracking vulgar jokes,handing over bicycles,watches and other accessories to the seniors when they demand or even proposing a senior girl student (turns out to be HOD’s daughter in worst cases) . In short being mere puppets to their orders.
During exams spend whole day at library scanning every book bearing resemblance to topics in exam, turn into nocturnal creatures solving question papers of past 5-8 years and in the exam attempt every damn question asked and fill the answer-sheet with all crap studied ever (so that the examiner ought to get bored turning pages and give full marks blindly)

Review:Totally dumb,why am I wasting my precious four years with books ? I wanna enjoy my life here,  fly like a free bird, hell with good grades !

SCENE 2:Now enters the 6-pointer(appears simply nasty,but it takes good deal of courage to be one):

Life is totally dynamic and jam-packed with surprises (both pleasant and not so pleasant,more of latter in fact) like getting thrown out of class for doing nothing (okay,may be just for laughing in front of the professor,oh come on that ain't a heinous crime at-least) and other weird punishments; messing with the seniors, even disobeying them (told you it takes courage !) . Their day actually starts at 5 pm after having soundly slept in all the lectures.Wake up,seize snacks at the mess and go play any god-damn sport or swim or watch any movie or linger online or attend some stupid orientation of any club (which you have no idea what is it meant for) ; you actually never run out of options to kill time! If you ever do just take a book in hand and the very next instant every other thing on earth apart from studying seems interesting (including staring at the graffiti on the wall) . Well after having fun till night,come back and take hold of dinner and then again roam around with friends till mid-night (its so blissful being able to go around in a soothing climate at night) .Back to hostel, either go online, play PC games or simply watch more movies. Continuing that till 5-6 am,catch forty winks until some roommate kick your ass screaming, its some idiot’s lecture on some crap topic (that has nothing to do with my core course) followed by dressing-up on bed and a sprint to the bathing room to brush.Grab break-fast,pick up any random book (just for sake of having one) zoom on your bicycle and enter the class room ten minutes after lecturer does (exactly the way celebs enter the red carpet for premier of their movies) destined to the second last (last bencher's are alwayz caught) and sleep peacefully....zzzzzzzzzz…! 
Oh yes,if you thought this was fun,the better part is yet to come.The week-end holidays simply get more interesting and lively.Waking up at noon and having lunch for break-fast.Later elope out of the campus with friends and go around in search of hang out places only to return by mid-night or maybe some times find a day scholar and sleep at his place and directly come back next morning.Keep enjoying till sunday mid-night,until the geek room-mate reminds you to do an useless assignment....aarrghhh ! Investigate half of the hostel for a GMAT whose been able to crack it; coax him to give you that assignment with a gentleman's promise to return it back before the lecture next morning.....phew(that such a huge exhaustive task !)
At-last,with exams on the edge and studying at the eleventh hour, getting intoxicated by series of (coffee) shots at the night canteen.Do a night out with friends with futile attempts to learn something in a few hours,what others spend days understanding.Hardly catch 30 mins of wink and lapse another 30 snoozing the alarm ! Explore the entire building with drowsy red eyes to discover your prison for next 2-3 hours. Barely write anything in exam apart from your name,until some kind soul takes sympathy on you and gives answers as charity to a beggar and also a hope of clearing the exams (thank god for hearing our early morning prayers !)

Review:Holy shit...who must have enjoyed life so much ever ? I love living life this way ! But then again, what am I going to be after four years of such vain engineering ? A mere job-less engineer ! Sounds horrible ain't it ?

Now you see why its been so tedious for me to select one of those options ! And to the ones who say, "why not study and enjoy too,be a 7-8 pointer and be between the two worlds". In my opinion,life is totally vain doing that;you’ll study a bit and get average grades to settle  with an average job;because,the 10 pointer will grab the creamy job.You may perceive that your enjoying a bit, but with the restrictions and fear in mind,you are ought to miss the real fun and freedom of life,its just pointless sailing in two boats (some thing that I am doing right now....huh…..!)